Birthdays are like New Years Eve to me..lack luster, low on the excitement scale and the same song and dance but just another 365 days have passed.
Last year I was in Cabo by myself. I had the time of my life…I was alone, reading, sun bathing, walking in the sand, practicing yoga twice a day, breathing, being alone in my thoughts…it was glorious. I came back from my birthday vacation with full intentions of accomplishing some big goals in my 30th year and I did just that…
I confess that those goals had NOTHING to do with myself. Everything I was setting out to accomplish was about obtaining more, moving forward professionally. I neglected me, my heart, my soul, my fire within…My concern was on what was happening outside that I forgot that my inside was aching for love, compassion and care.
In the past few weeks I have had some extreme highs and lows, some professionally and some personally. Reflecting on these experiences I felt a huge wake up call. When my professional boat got rocked it was like my world stopped, everything around me was moving I was cemented into my thoughts and paralyzed. Not good. Not good at all. A similar feeling would surface with personal situations but I could shake it off with much more ease…
I am now starting to realize that my soul, my health, my heart NEEDS to come first because without these operating on a full tank I can only offer so much to others and what I do.
Now, lets take a pregnant pause here. I LOVE what I do, but it is no secret that it is who I am. I live and breathe what I do. I am fully committed to my career and proud of it. What I am missing is my personal passion, my fire from within to keeps me motivated to forge on…
So, today and moving forward; I make better choices, I re-prioritize, I put self-care time IN my calendar. You think I am kidding, no way, Google Calendar gets “yoga” “walk with LuBear” “cooking research on YouTube” It goes on…but for me, being Type A, I needed this organization to have this personal time. It was what needed to happen.
Year 31 is the year of Angela. Year 30 was all about being OK with being alone, and trust me, I was. HAHA. At 31, I am still as single as they come, but maybe that is what I need to experience fully to become the best version of myself for the right man to come along.
Here is my commitment: as I go through this year of transformation I will continue to share my story, I will open up my heart and soul even more than I already have without fear…I will bare it all in hopes that through being vulnerable we can start to make better choices to embrace wellness, connection and compassion with one another and ourselves.
First official share of year 31. I have forgiven a lot in the past month, I have forgiven those that have hurt my heart, gave me reason to doubt my value and scared me away from letting others in. I had to. Holding on to that sadness, the pain and the anger was pulling me away from my path and when that was released, when it was forgiven, that is when I felt the channels clear up…energy was flowing and my intentions were clearer than ever.
31 is not going to be all lollipops and sunshine, I am expecting some rough storms and turbulent moments but that is what this girl needs…I need to be shook the fuck up. Time to get this new year started.
Snuggle time with the LuBear first.
2 thoughts on “another year down”
Well put. It always seems easier to take care of or help others, when it comes to ourselves…a whole other matter, right? You are still plenty young and very beautiful, with a good career and good head on her shoulders. Keep loving yourself and those around you, love will come. Happy Birthday!
It looks like 31 is going to be a wise year for you. I like that you wear your heart on your sleeve and take your readers on your journey with you.
Wishing you a wonderful year!